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What Nightmares are Made Of; Beach Boys Reunion
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18 Feb 2012 12:33 PM EST

-by Jennifer Monteago, Staff Writer; Image: Your worst dream’s soundtrack (Image Source: slacker.com)

The past 10 years have seen old, decade-related trends emerge at breakneck speeds; though not in any particular order. While wide, bell bottom jeans and flowing shirts were Summer 2011’s “it” outfit, flannel shirts, most associated with the 90s and grunge, dragged itself out from the swamp of time a few years ago and have yet to sink back in. The bright, neon 80s aesthetic hit retailers in the mid 00s, but then, harem (one known as Hammer or parachute) pants didn’t time travel to the present until just two years ago.

Thanks to increasing internet speeds and online content, we may be the first generation to live “when” we please. For instance, one can be solely a devotee of 80s new wave, and never run out of access to genre-specific music, as new bands constantly surface with that sole sound in mind. Now, no trend can ever die if but one person online keeps it alive...

However, such a post-time existence is not without its flaws—because we can now, and at times, must, confront our horrific pasts: our childhoods.

It is a universal truth that production companies for children’s media are staffed with the worst dregs of society: the perverted, demented, feeble minded and drug users and abusers the lot of ‘em. Without masturbators, reefer smokers, drunkards, and louts, we’d never have the programming most of us held dear as toddlers and kids: Ren and Stimpy, Rocko’s Modern Life, the Felix the Cat movie, among others. The worst of it is, thanks to busy or absent minded parents, there is no oversight to what nightmarish acid trip children are subjected to—and the children themselves, unaware of what’s right or wrong or “bloodcurdling frightening,” cannot complain.

With that we here at AllMediaNY re-introduce our readers to what may very well have been a part of their childhoods. You here, who reads this now, who wonders why every night you startle awake with sweat dripping down your back in a cheap apartment on the bad side of town, to the sounds of prostitutes cruising the streets for drugs or johns but at least they have a job when you’ve been unable to keep one down and ol’ Mike at the pub won’t extend your credit because you’re no longer good for it after you got into the poker business... You wonder why your life is one unmitigated mess after another, one failed relationship where they complain you’re scared of intimacy—and they’re right but you never knew why you were terrified to love you never knew the face of the boogieman that awaited on the other side... Dear reader, stare into the monster’s eyes:

Embed video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO95tsy7zCQ

And on that note, after their performance last Sunday at the Grammys, the Beach Boys have announced a large U.S.-wide reunion tour! According to NME, this is the first time since working on their ’96 album, Stars and Stripes Vol. 1, that Brian Wilson has rejoined the old gang. The tour is in honor of the Beach Boys’ 50th anniversary, and includes two nights in May at NYC’s Beacon Theatre, followed by two nights in Conn.’s Mohegan Sun Arena. They’ll also be making a stop at Bonnaroo, whose lineup was just recently announced. For more information on the Beach Boys tour, visit their website.

Follow Jennifer Monteagudo on Twitter @yeyeberlynn. Special thanks to AllMediaNY’s Stephanie Ortiz for pointing out the existence of the Trollies Radio Show, and ensuring no one in this office will be able to sleep tonight.

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