23 Apr 2015 10:10 AM EST
-by Yuliya Geikhman, Staff Writer; Image: The front bar at Kings County Saloon (Image Source: Kings County Saloon Website)
The annual Smallest Penis in Brooklyn pageant is back this year, and it’s sporting small packages in a bigger space.
The third annual pageant will be held on June 13 at the new location of the Kings County Saloon, which is roomier and has more bathrooms.
“This year,” proclaims the event page, “the littlest members will be celebrated in a newer, bigger, better space.”
The new space is located at 1 Knickerbocker Avenue, and in addition to being bigger and having more bathrooms, also has more seating, and better sound.
“But the penises stay small,” the website promises.
Thanks to the upgrade in the venue’s size, this year’s competition will have more than five contestants, including 2013’s runner up “Dick Van Winkle,” and “a talented field of first timers with tiny schlongs but lots of heart.”
The pageant will even be opening to submissions from “intergalactic competitors,” and will be showing video submissions from around the world “along with all the showmanship and decorum you have come to expect from the world's foremost pageant for diminutive foreskins.”
In case you missed it in the past two years, the pageant will have a number of men competing in talent shows, evening wear, and swimsuit competitions, and lots more exposed fun. Hosted by the world famous entertainer Chicken Bitches, the show is sure to be tons of fun for everyone involved.
General admission tickets are only $5, and buying one is recommended since the space will undoubtedly fill up fast. Advance registration for groups of four or six is also available, as well as a special VIP All Access Backstage Pass—for $500 you can meet the contestants, hang out with Chicken Bitches and the “penis kittens,” and get “members only treatment.”
So, “come by, have a cold penis-colada, and get ready for the biggest little penis pageant in Brooklyn.”
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